Aya, where do I even begin? Well, I promise to keep this all short and sweet, entertaining as it were. I’ll tell you a secret though, I’ve always hated bloggers. But due to popular demand for me to write about my adventures and follies-mostly follies mind you- I’m writing this now.
Were going to start in the present here, which is quite frankly not very fun due to me being a chubby little bugger walking across the US. Last year I was getting banned from France for accidental terrorism and hitchhiking my way across Macedonia and Bulgaria. Much more intriguing, dangerous and sexy times-BUT I WILL HAVE THEM AGAIN! Don’t you worry.
Hotness ---------> New Fuglyness
I know you worry, I can see it in your eyes. Even in these first few beautiful paragraphs you feel a strong mother like bond to me-you want me to succeed. Don’t worry if you don’t feel it now (it’s all in your subconscious). And if you’re brave enough to keep reading those feelings you have for me will bloom into something like passionate fanaticism. Hopefully by the time I’m done writing this blog you will be willing to sacrifice your life for me, but most importantly before that you will give me all your money. So I can keep traveling.
So! We Begin on March 5th, 2008. A little background in necessary to set the story here. I returned last year from my travels abroad totally fit and sexy and an incredible dancer. Yes, I was on top of the world-for once-Don’t get me started about the vast majority of my life as an ex-nerd in my parents basement playing Phantasy Star Online and watching Star Trek. But old habits die hard you see, and just like that subconscious devotion your feeling for me even now, for some reason I had this hidden voice in the back of my head.
“So you’ve literally lived more in the last few months then you did your whole life,” it whispered so sweetly, “now that those crazy adventures are all over and done with, let’s take a vow of celibacy and eat a bunch of shit for the next year.”
And so, tragically, without knowing it I listened to that voice. And I sat on my ass and ate, didn’t call my friends, and had a short stint giving tours and pouring wine for America’s richest-yet-classless people. My god, you would think money would help folks develop a personality. But I’ve found in my short life it’s actually the other way around, lack of money is a wonderful creator of character. Just look at all those hobos at the Wal-Mart for instance, there’s almost enough bat-shit nuts personality in those guys for two people. There as close as you can get to being German other then actually being born there. But this is a story for another entry.
So there I was sitting there almost a year later and quite a bit heftier, and I’ll be dammed if all I thought about was just how awesome my time overseas had been. I literally kept my mental life going by clinging to these memories like paparazzi clings to a drunken celebrity whore. And so, as I sat there, wishing I was traveling again, I was struck with an incredible flash of inspiration! This flash of inspiration is as follows:
Let’s walk across the United States!
And why not? I’m finally traveling again, meeting new people and having adventures, which is what I really live for after all. And better yet, the 3 major costs of travel: Transportation, Accommodation, and Food are all taking care of! I’m walking, if I’m not camping I’m couchsurfing, and I happen to be quite an adept thief when it comes to supermarkets. And best of all, I can get back to being my sexy, cocky self again. Here's my couchsurfing account by the way, definitely check out the pictures if you’ve got the time, they probably say more about me then anything else.
So….lets retype that: So! We Begin on March 5th, 2008
Quite unfortunately, I didn’t have a camera for the first 3 weeks of this what I now deem “Torture Trek” To be honest with you though (and trust me, I’m rarely honest) even after the hardship of the first few days I’m already feeling alive again, like I’ve found some long lost friend I never knew I had. I can’t quite put it to words, but there’s just something special about being on the road and not knowing where your going to be by the end of the night, whether it be enjoying hot chocolate across from a fascinating stranger or camping out under a freezing freeway overpass and clutching a knife to your chest in fear of hobo rape.
So I started out that beautiful Wednesday just outside of my hometown of Petaluma. Man, was I stupid. I did 20 miles that day cold turkey, just to prove “all those” people (meaning my father) that I could do it. And boy, was that a mistake. My feet were like pink mush, as if I had a cotton candy transplant or something. I literally had a blister on one of my toes that almost resembled some kind of vestigial 6th toe I didn’t know I had. My host screamed =) It was the first time I wished I had brought a camera, it was real side show level awesomeness.
And so to keep this quick due to lack of pictures, I’m going to sum the next 3 weeks up pretty fast. My apologies to all the awesome hosts and people I met along the way that I’m not going to mention. You know who you are and you know I’m going to come back around that way after I’m done with all of this, so you’ll get your pictorial come uppins’.
